It'd make me sick. I'd be jealous and hurting for a good long time. I read a description of something he used to do with his rentboys and I still feel oddly betrayed. I know these are probably just the manifesting marks of an overzealous fanboy, but... I can't even describe how I feel. I think I deserve a reward for tenacity and devotion, at the very very least.
I'm like a nun in the church of Saint Oscar of Magdalen. Except, you know, I opened fire on the congregation with an Uzi just to make absolutely certain I was the only one.